Posted by: Annatonic on: October 11, 2009
I made an executive decision today – I pressed the ‘Cancel Subscription’ button on my unharmonious eHarmony membership. That’s it, people, no more virtual men for me. Whooohoooooo! Breaking up is hard to do, especially when it’s with a computer. It forced me to fill out my current “status” before giving into my wishes. Was I: [...]
Posted by: Annatonic on: October 6, 2009
I disappeared this week. Total silence all around. I was starting to get “I know you’re busy but…” text messages and phone calls from loved ones of the “are you ok?” variety. Blame my boss and a no-minute-spared workathon. And what did my would-be dates think? To them I was just MIA. There you have [...]
Posted by: Annatonic on: September 28, 2009
At summer camp you were paired off into buddies, so if you never surfaced when the canoe tipped over somebody would notice. Or if you went to day camp you were paired off at the zoo, so if you were eaten by a boa constrictor, somebody would notice. Then some twenty-seven years later your date [...]
Posted by: Annatonic on: September 25, 2009
And now for The World’s Dumbest Question: why are you still single? Duh, because I’m totally awesome, you say, and there simply can’t be that many totally awesome people in the world. THAT’S WHY. It’s not really the question so much as the people asking it. You never hear single people asking each other why we’re [...]
Posted by: Annatonic on: September 22, 2009
I found a stray hair on my thigh. Just one little blonde rebel poking out to say HAHA! I promptly plucked it, but now my eye will forever wander that patch. Will the rebel return? Will he be longer and fiercer next time? Is he planning on relocating? Groan. Wouldn’t it be nice to be [...]
Posted by: Annatonic on: September 14, 2009
I met my future husband. Our connection would have really blossomed, if it weren’t for those sweaty people wrapped around the southern pole…of the 6 train. Dangit! Yah you, meathead, you’re blocking my view. Bake me a future husband cake, Mr Lovely on the Train, because you have all the ingredients. Those nutmeggy eyes, [...]
Posted by: Annatonic on: September 10, 2009
News just in from the great gods of matching! The gaggle of men in your inbox think you look really hot at 4 am on a Friday. And not so hot at 9am on a Sunday. Excuse me as I clear my throat, a-hem. This news flash, courtesy of an unsolicited eHarmony Advice newsletter, made me [...]
Posted by: Annatonic on: September 3, 2009
You know when the guy across the table starts to look TV handsome (well, reality TV handsome), you lean over in mutual admiration of each others’ dimples, and you finally feel like that big ball of dating karma might just smack you in the head for once? And then he says something like: “And who [...]
Posted by: Annatonic on: September 1, 2009
The following warning should accompany any datemedotcom membership: Don’t date while you’re drunk. Or getting drunk. Date may appear excessively comfortable in your company after two or more beverages. I admit, there’s nothing more nausea inducing than the 29 minutes before your online date. You’ve memorized his must-haves-can’t-stands, you have something appropriately feminine on (see [...]
Posted by: Annatonic on: August 29, 2009
I like writing lists on the weekend. It’s like accomplishing something without actually doing anything. This, dear reader, is dedicated to anyone braving a first date tonight – and to the rest of you cuddling up to the remote. Nice Things You Hear on a First Date You look just like your pictures. From someone who looks just [...]
